My bowels are full.

The torrent of bloody stains all over the web has been reduced to mere skid marks. You might be asking yourself, "What's causing the constipation?" Well, for now it's the fucking Comcast. I don't want to go on a diatribe about the failures of said company, 'cause everyone hates a rant. But, hopefully the problem will be remedied soon, and I'll be able to release my foul crimson flow to the world once again.